Bloody hell!

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about my health, hasn’t it? Are you surprised?

Well, I certainly am.

The final straw for me came around my birthday, at the beginning of December. I had just had a week of work (finally!) and then got the flu, really badly, and had another week off work  (what a surprise!). Followed by being unwell on my birthday to the point that I could barely talk, walk or even enjoy my day. I spent the entire weekend crawling around, on the sofa, or just sleeping off my pain, illness and unhappiness.

Honestly, I was absolutely sick of feeling so unwell and inflicting it on everyone around me. My mum drove all the way from Wales to celebrate my birthday and we couldn’t even do much. I felt like I’d wasted her time and her money. And Jonas, well, he hadn’t stopped running around after me for months – cooking, cleaning, running to the shop if I needed something. I was done.

I was going to come off of the pill. Initially, I had planned to stop taking it on Christmas Day, so that I’d be off work and at home for a week. When I’d be ‘safe’ to stop taking it. But I was feeling so ill, and was told there wouldn’t be any work for me, I stopped it that week. I couldn’t possibly feel any worse than I did at the time, so I thought ‘why the hell not?’

Up until this point I had been bleeding every single day since the 28th of September (and no, I’m not exaggerating and yes, that is possible). I just wanted it to stop so I could feel normal again. It didn’t stop. It carried on all the way up until the 20th of December and it was still driving me crazy.

In 2019 I bled for 36 weeks… no lies.

Then all of a sudden I started to feel better. I was sleeping again. Eating more normally. My mood swings weren’t as bad and my overall feelings weren’t as pessimistic (but okay, I am a moody moo). Exercising again. Spending hours of out the hours: shopping, getting coffee, going to the beach.

It was as if the old me had finally returned after 15 months.

I wasn’t expecting it to stay that way, but I took each day at a time and hoped it would. In fact, I’m still doing that now.

But this a huge part of why I don’t agree with medication, or believe medical professionals, because none of it has ever helped me…

Of course I was expecting my period to come back. I’ve heard that some women can wait up to 6 months for their periods to return to ‘normal’, and naturally I was hoping mine wouldn’t come back at all, but of course it did.

I panicked for the first night, struggled to sleep and made myself a hot water bottle, but when I woke up the next morning and after about an hour or so of discomfort, I realised I wasn’t dying. I wasn’t in any pain at all. I was just exhausted and a little uncomfortable. After another day, and then seven more days, I realised that I had been lucky this time.

This was like having a period sent from heaven (ha! Is there such a thing?) after the hell I’ve been through for the last 6 years. I was able to travel, pack up our house, go shopping and live like a normal person for nine days. Nine days that most other months I’d be passed out on the sofa, or crying in agony.

I’ve felt amazing, and I’m grateful to whatever force is keeping me pain free at the moment – please last the entire year!

Have any of you experienced painful periods?

Or have you felt worse for taking birth control (of any kind!)?

I’d love for you to share your experience, if you’re willing.

This is something that makes me feel incredibly isolated and alone at times, and has also lost me at least four jobs in the last six years.

3 thoughts on “Bloody hell!

Add yours

  1. Hey Claire,
    So nice of you to share your experience, there are a lot of young women out there who also go through this and don’t speak out.

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